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BIG STORY OF THE FORTNIGHT
THY KIMDOM COME
Aneesh Chatterjee
Like the hammer of the judge that strikes clear and angry to cull the voices of clamorous sheep in court, Kim’s Styrofoam fist has once again squashed a cultural bug that dared to raise its feelers against His Supreme Clogged Arteries: The Interview, an upcoming Hollywood production that features an assassination plan for the leader himself. Never fearing, never cowering down, the great midget has announced impending war with the blasphemous, naïve, boisterous fool that is the United States of America. Calling the film an act of militant aggression, Kim Jong Un has threatened total annihilation with his impressive pile of nuclear missiles which he otherwise constantly fires into the ocean. This is His Supremacy’s final word. The time has come for our world to make a choice: whether to stand by the side of our one and only butterfly-topped Emperor and topple the rest of the world as they dare to rise, or to side with the loud and inept near-unbeatable military superpower that made the choice to humiliate Kim.
The table is set; the pieces are in place. The cards are in position. All that remains is for you to decide. This, my good reader, is it. This is the dawn of a new era. This, is war.
TORONTO, Canada, July 1
Many a leader has walked the trodden beams of human infrastructure, either to build more, to dismantle, or to simply drop a screw or two to the darkened void below that is the past. Dictators have ruled and slaughtered, created and destroyed; democrats and republicans have waged a war of opinions of axiomatically unequal merit; Presidents have foolishly promised and then scrambled like the proverbial tumbling legs of the Mystery Machine cohorts; emperors have swept up their kingdoms into the pinnacle of glory, and then drop-kicked them into a gutter to ensure the march of progress – time and again, rulers have risen to show us the truest qualities and aptitudes of the human being. But today, in our modern world, one man rises to become what may well be the Judgement of all sin; the extermination of those who dared to rule, the fumigation of political pests who never saw his impending wrath. This man is Kim Jong Un, and he has come to deliver our world from the absence of himself – and we were too late to see it.
(Aneesh Chatterjee is a high school graduate and author of sci-fi novel, Requiem of Supremacy)
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